Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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