Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
40s are totally the cure
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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