1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize