At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
