A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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