Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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