it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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