I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
