he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
