Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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