Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
