she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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