he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
