I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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