direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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