careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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