Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I need to align my fucking chakras
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
