party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
