My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
