she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My cat gives me a boner
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
