He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
