Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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