sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
