did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
