she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
