Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
