I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
