Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
