Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
