Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
