I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize