Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
