Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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