I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
