Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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