I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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