Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize