ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
