It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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