Pappa wants mamma naked
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
