Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My room smells like vodka and shame
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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