Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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