I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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