Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
