i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize