Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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