**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize