People with herpes should wear stickers.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
