i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize