I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
