I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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