wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
