I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize