don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
