You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
