wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
