I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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