went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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