he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
