I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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