Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
