Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
