there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
