i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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