you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
