Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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