lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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