dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
