used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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